The First Step Is Admitting There Is A Porsche Problem

"Drew" (midnightdori) 01/30/2018 at 22:56 • Filed to: Porsche, Air-Cooled, An Infinite Well of Sadness and Regret

4

13

Hello, my name is Drew (hello, Drew) and I have a Porsche problem (polite clapping.) Being a non-owner, I thought I had it under control – I really did. But there were signs all along. Waking up on the couch having no idea how you got there, only to find a Slack channel open with a knock-down, drag-out argument ending with a pitiful defense of the M96 engine in the 996 being “not *that* bad”. Or having a pleasant conversation at a Cars & Coffee, blacking out, only to find yourself excitedly half-screaming at your terrified wife at lunch who doesn’t understand why you’ve suddenly developed a fetish for area codes beginning with “9”. When you’re wearing rose-colored glasses, all those Guards red flags just look like flags.

I can stop any time I want. At least, that’s what I believed, maybe I was lying to myself. Maybe I’m still lying to myself. Being up on Twitter at all hours live-tweeting the bidding on Aubergine 930 coupes and drifting in and out of consciousness at staff meetings because Petrolicious published some feature on Jeff Zwart’s Pre-A 356 that I had to watch just one more time? Just one more eBay Motors UK hit.

Just one more.

I thought I was getting better. This weekend, though, *sigh*. This weekend, the addiction took what I thought was rock bottom and handed me a shovel. I’d seen the sun come up over my desk just aimlessly browsing Cayman R ads on Rennlist, but this was something different, something mean . Eventually, the Boxster Speedsters and 924 GTs don’t scratch that itch anymore. When you’re numb to M491 option packages and factory Fuchs, you need something that just makes you feel again. I gazed into the abyss, and the abyss returned archived ads from 2011.

If you’ve ever wanted to waterboard yourself with regret, take a gander into recent memory and remind yourself that those untouchable low mileage air-cooled coupes were hopelessly affordable just a heartbeat ago. Just there, in the backyard of history, back to when Game of Thrones debuted and a year before LMFAO broke up. No, these cars haven’t always been priced for organ harvesting and contract killing.

A warning to those of you with sensitive constitutions, you may find yourself nauseated or dizzy or just plain filled with inexplicable anger. Just close the tab, amigo. Remember, pain is just a physiological response that’s evolved over millennia for self-preservation, and we’re about to rip the limiter off.

March 18, 2011: !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

April 29, 2011: !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! But in 2011?

May 17, 2001: Maybe $34,000 is too much for your budget? That’s fine. How about a !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

July of 2011: !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

September 8 th : !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! – yeah, I know. I know .

And this, well, this is the reason I’m here today. I don’t remember much after I found this. My wife tells me I was just walking in small circles in the room, starting at the ceiling, gently whispering “RS America” to the heavens. At 12:14 PM on Friday, October 14 th , 2011, user “mrbrucermurray” posted !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! :

And so I’m here now, and I’m trying to get better. I’m reading up on Renault Alpines and Datsun 240Zs to try to fill the time and take my mind off the darkness, but it still creeps up and I’ve just got to see how deep the hole goes. Good days and bad days, just like everyone else. Good days and bad days.

My name is Drew and I’m a Porsche addict.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Drew 01/30/2018 at 23:23

0

That Turbo is just too perfect. Yep. It’s decided. I’m building a time machine.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Drew 01/30/2018 at 23:24

1

Hey want to buy some gateway drugs?

https://oppositelock.kinja.com/1973-porsche-914-1-7-the-oppo-review-1756206355

Drew > gmporschenut also a fan of hondas 01/30/2018 at 23:30

0

ugh YES, I’ll take my Porsche slow and orange if necessary, a fix is a fix.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Drew 01/30/2018 at 23:34

0

slow and fun in the twisties.

RallyWrench > Drew 01/30/2018 at 23:41

2

The owner of the shop has a ‘93 RSA. I found it for him in 2007... for $32k. He’s about to put it on the market at three times that. Insane for what amounts to a slightly stripped 964 with no power steering and racy door cards.

winterlegacy, here 'till the end > Drew 01/30/2018 at 23:42

0

But... 924.

Maxima Speed > Drew 01/31/2018 at 00:05

0

Right there with you man. I used to be in the 911 stage, now I’ve moved on to the next stage. The 912. Eeeeek!! I get excited just thinking about them.

AddictedToM3s - Drives a GC > Drew 01/31/2018 at 00:35

0

I’m right there with you on the undying itch of Porsche. I’ve now almost abandoned the want for an M3 and have gone straight for lusting after a 911. I want a manual 997.2 turbo so badly. I wake up and think about what it must be like to drive one. I always think about how hilarious it would be to jam groceries into the front trunk in front of bewildered shoppers passing by.

Drew > winterlegacy, here 'till the end 01/31/2018 at 06:49

1

Good sir, we must be cautious in this territory. It is most dangerous.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Drew > AddictedToM3s - Drives a GC 01/31/2018 at 06:50

0

I’ve only ever driven a pair 997 C2S before, but, if it’s anything similar to that experience, your lust is not misplaced.

AddictedToM3s - Drives a GC > Drew 02/01/2018 at 12:31

0

Oh that’s what I’ve heard. Every video I watch of a 911 review all the reviewers always have this genuine excitement about them. It’s like they’re buzzing from adrenaline and joy. I want to feel that. And I imagine the sound and shift feel is amazing.

Stef Schrader > Drew 03/04/2019 at 18:56

1

y’all need gud parsh

Stef Schrader > Drew 03/04/2019 at 18:56

1

It is dangerous to go alone!

Let me hoon it.